Searching for Perspective

September 15, 2008

I gotta say, I really love Facebook. I’m fond of MySpace because it’s kept me in close contact with some great friends I’ve had since high school and some great friends I have NOW (you know who you are!), but Facebook is a totally different world. I have found people I used to work with. Friends from college, from grad school. Even friends from middle school!

I just got a cool e-mail from someone I knew way back in the dark ages – also known as high school – after I sent him a friend request. I have a ridiculously good memory for just about everyone I’ve met over the years, but I never assume that other people have quite the same memory skills. So I e-mailed Sam and made sure to tell him why he knew me (since it’s been 20 years). Today, he responded and just brightened up my day. He said, “Hey Miss Mewborn - you are well remembered. The interesting ones are.”

I spent a few minutes thinking, “I’m interesting? I was interesting back then? Cool!” Then it hit me and I thought, “I wonder if that is GOOD interesting or BAD interesting???” I guess it depends on your perspective! Since he accepted my request, I’ll go with it being good. :o)

Perspective is a really big thing in my life right now for some reason. The more I think about it the more it creeps into my daily life when I least expect it. I'm reading this really good book called "Thank You for Being Such a Pain: Spiritual Guidance for Dealing with Difficult People" by Mark Rosen. I've read it before, but I think it's time for a refresher course because who doesn't have difficult people in their lives, right? Right.

It has taught me that everyone does what they do for a reason and if we don't know their reasons, then it is hard - or impossible - to deal with and understand the situations that come up. Even worse, if you have difficult people in your life, you have to realize that for someone out there, YOU are the difficult person. Yipes! My sweet little angelic, perfect self (yes, I am laughing as I write that) is someone's royal pain in the patootie? Wow. Go figure. :o)

But again, it's about perspective. I’m working to learn to appreciate those differences and understand how my actions have ripple effects. I'm still struggling with God's plan for my life as I try to figure out where I am supposed to be - geographically and metaphorically (or something like that) - and what I am supposed to be doing in terms of a career that will make me happy and fulfilled. I pray. And I pray. And pray. Then I pray again and in the end, I pray even more.

I’m not sure why God isn’t sending me any answers. Or is He? I’m thinking His perspective is vastly different than mine. What I interpret as silence from Him is probably hugely different in reality. I know He is working, but I can’t help wanting a big, flashing neon sign to help me along the path.

So I’ll keep praying and waiting and remember to be thankful for this amazing life God has given me. I’ll try to learn my lessons so I can move on to the next chapter of life. And I’ll probably eat a lot of peanut M&Ms because, well, they are just darned good!But that’s just MY perspective and if you don’t share it, well, cool! More M&Ms for me!! Woohoo!

Missing Pieces or Missing Peace?

This is another in a series of posts so I can archive some of the things I've sent to the Singles ministry folks at my church.

August 11, 2008

I once met a plumber named Jack who, while working on my dripping shower and answering my questions, said something I have remembered and used quite frequently since then: "I don't have issues, I have a full subscription." Well, ain't that the truth!! I have enough issues for at least THREE full subscriptions let me assure you.

One in particular is at the top of my list these days (and many of you have heard about it ad nauseum so I won't rehash the boring details) and I can't get it out of my head. I've had a few discussions on perspective in the past week and it all has me thinking about how situations look so different to different people. What is horrible to me is looking great to someone else, but they are on the outside and I am on the inside. Or vice versa. We all decorate our prison cells differently I suppose.

A little perspective came to me yesterday listening to Pastor Clay. I'd been ruminating on the idea that there is a missing piece to my current puzzle that I just can't seem to locate and yet I know it is right in front of my face. It's like having amnesia or something and I simply can't connect the dots. Needless to say, I'm so Type A that it is driving me insane. Desperation is an ugly thing my friends (and so is Marilyn Manson...I'm just saying...)

But yesterday a thought played through my head - is there a piece missing or are you missing peace? So simple and yet so very profound for me. I'm struggling with it mightily I assure you because finding peace and contentment is not something I do easily, if it all. (I moved 4 times in less than 3 years once upon a time.) Clearly, here is one of the issues in my subscription and I'm thinking God isn't going to refund my money just because one of the issues isn't my favorite.

So here's to finding peace and any missing pieces. And heck, maybe even some Reese's Pieces if that's up your alley. Peace out!

Originally shared August 3, 2008

I love television that makes you think. Well, I love TV period – it’s nearly always on if I am at home. I like the noise of it, even if I’m not paying attention to what is on. But when it makes me think, that’s even better.

Oddly enough, it was a horror show called Fear Itself that got me going this week. Last week I was getting ready to turn off the TV and go to sleep when I got caught up in the show. There was family waiting for their father/brother/husband (he was different things to different people, lest anyone think this was some TV version of “I am my own grandpa”) to come home because he had been lost in the mountains for 10 days. He did return looking frostbitten, emaciated, and extremely creepy. Yeah, that’s all it took. I needed to know how this story was going to end.

Long story short, the man was possessed by an evil spirit that caused him to crave human flesh. Ick. Serious ick. Grady got nastier looking as the show went on (fueling my thoughts of the nightmares sure to come later that night) and the whole thing has stuck in my head for several days now.

Me being me, the extreme over-analyzer of all things, I started thinking about the show and storyline and breaking it down. I wanted to find something more in it other than me losing an hour of precious sleep over some flesh-eating creepy guy.

At one point Grady was telling his wife how cold and tired and hungry he had been trapped in the cave with his friend and that the wind was blowing and a voice telling him to “let me in. All you have to do is eat.” (Like, eat his friend in case you still aren’t following me. Double ick.) Grady was so full of anger and hate – for a couple of plot points that weren’t always clear (and really, think about how anger can cloud your perception of things) – that it was easy for him to succumb to the voice.

I got to thinking about how this man let his anger and hostility and frustration build up inside him. Build so much that it was just waiting there, under the surface, and when he heard that voice saying “just do it”, he was helpless to keep the evil out because the hatred was so strong.

I thought about that more after Pastor Clay’s sermon on self control today. It all tied in there with how this character could not control what was inside him whether it be his emotions or the evil that took him over. He had let things fester for so long that he really had already opened the door to what was happening to him.

I don’t know about y’all, but it’s certainly very hard for this mere mortal to control a lot of what goes on inside me. I have my own personal demons that I fight all the time. I win some and I lose some of those fights, but I try to keep fighting regardless. Sometimes I think it boils down to not lettings things fester inside of us and listening to the RIGHT voices and opening the doors for those and not the wrong ones, like poor Grady did.

For the record, he met his demise, but not before taking a few people out with him. I’d like to think he didn’t know what he was doing and couldn’t be held responsible for his actions because he wasn’t himself anymore. But Grady did make a choice. He opened the wrong door.

Here’s to hoping we all open the right ones this week!

In an effort to archive some stuff and to get myself to publish more on my blog, I'm going to be posting some things I have shared with my church group in the past year.

March 31, 2008

There is something to be said for having friends who know you well. Ilike having friends who hear or see certain things and instantly think of me. Today I got an e-mail from someone I work with about twice ayear. All he wrote was, "So are you going to see Bon Jovi in Atlanta onApril 30th?" That's all it took to make me smile and laugh out loud. This person don't know me super well, but he knew of my long-standinglove for Bon Jovi.

I can honestly say that in 20 different states andat least 4 foreign countries, there are people living that when theyhear a Bon Jovi song on the radio, they instantly think of me. They'vetold me so. That's always pretty fun to get an e-mail or message sayingthey thought of me. Always makes me smile.

But I have to ask myself, do these people ever think of me when they arehearing about Jesus? Does my name come to mind when talk of Christianity and being saved comes up? And if it doesn't, can I live with that? It's a pretty clear answer and the real question is, what am I going to do about it...

Originally sent June 2, 2008

I don't know about y'all, but I believe that you can find God in some off-the-wall places, if you are open to finding Him there. Last week I mentioned some silly nonsense about finding words from God in a Cher song. I'm sure you all thought I was nuts (well, ok, nuttier than usual) by that comment, but I was actually quite serious. Let me explain...

You see, when I go out walking in the early mornings, I always have my iPod with me. I also tend to talk to God during those walks. Believe it or not, I can focus through noise. Go figure. I'm was walking along one morning last week, having the joy of seeing both the moon and the sunrise in the course of about 15 minutes, and Cher comes on. Now, I love Cher. I have since I was a little girl watching "The Sonny and Cher Show". I got Sonny and Cher dolls for Christmas when I was about 5 and, um, I still have them.

Now, I realize this is Cher singing - she of the crazy outfits and extremely young boyfriends and a farewell tour that still hasn't ended after at least 5 years - and I have no clue who wrote the song, but it spoke to me, so I'm sharing with you.

This is a song for the lonely, can you hear me tonight?
For the broken hearted, battle scarredI'll be by your side
And this is a song for the lonely
When your dreams won't come true
Can you hear this prayer
Because someone's there for you

I listened and I thought about how the words were likely intended, but how they could also be open to interpretation. Because God is there for us, when we are scared and lonely and feeling like our dreams will never materialize. He is always there - we just have to be open to finding and accepting Him.

In my opinion, you never know where God is hiding. You can find Him anywhere I think, if you are looking or even listening. Because sometimes, y'know, He just shows up in a Cher song. And for those times, I am immensely grateful.

For the purposes of me archiving things and to share with anyone who might actually be reading this blog, I'm starting to put up some information that I have shared with the Singles ministry at my church in the past year.

December 28, 2008

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Congratulations! Today is your day.
You're off to Great Places! You're off and away!

You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes
You can steer yourself any direction you choose.
You're on your own. And you know what you know.
And YOU are the guy who'll decide where to go.

Taken from “Oh, the Places You’ll Go!” by Dr. Seuss
Copyright © 1990 by Theodor S. Geisel and Audrey S. Geisel


Hey folks,

Sorry I did not get the weekly e-mail out earlier today, but today was my family Christmas time and, with all due respect, that was infinitely more important than anything else. Then, I was fortunate enough to have several hours to visit with an old friend from high school that I haven’t seen in years who lives in Delaware and he is leaving tomorrow, so time was of the essence there. But now I can settle in to get the weekly info out to you all.

I am always amazed by God’s timing. For those unaware, I was laid off from my job last week, effective February 2. I wasn’t the only one *pauses to wave to Matt* and I fully expect there will be more at my job. It’s scary. Heck, it’s terrifying! But you know what? God has a plan. I honestly believe that. I’ve been dissatisfied in my job for a long time and struggling with trying to be content there because I felt like that is how I should feel. I was always grateful to have a job though, even if it wasn’t my dream job. So I struggled and wasn’t sure which way to go.

About a week ago I prayed about how I can’t ever seem to step out on faith, which is what Kevin is doing by leaving his position with the Singles Ministry. Well, be careful what you pray for!! When I found out late Friday that I was being laid off, it was like a punch in the gut. I thought “Really? Me? Seriously? ME??” Yeah, it was me.

I'm sorry to say so but, sadly, it's true
and Hang-ups can happen to you.

You can get all hung up in a prickle-ly perch.
And your gang will fly on. You'll be left in a Lurch.

You'll come down from the Lurch with an unpleasant bump.
And the chances are, then, that you'll be in a Slump.

And when you're in a Slump, you're not in for much fun.
Un-slumping yourself is not easily done.

Taken from “Oh, the Places You’ll Go!” by Dr. Seuss
Copyright © 1990 by Theodor S. Geisel and Audrey S. Geisel


But after going through the grieving process like we talked about on Sunday morning (Shock, Denial, Sadness, Anger, and finally Acceptance), I really, truly am feeling ok about it all. God is in control. He has a plan for me. And for Matt. And for the other folks that were laid off last week at my job and all over the country. I’m not sure what His plans are for me, but I’m actually beginning to get excited in a way. It was easy to be content with having a good job and it was easy to put off looking for a new opportunity. Now, however, I don’t have a choice. I have to get out there and get going!

I’m still scared and if you ask me in about a month, I might not be having such a positive day. But I’m going to keep my faith and remember that God’s timing is never wrong. It’s always perfect. That doesn’t mean it has to make any sense to us though because as long a God is in control, it’s the right thing.

I still can’t say I’m any good with taking a step out on faith and God knows that. So I think He gave me a big ole SHOVE out on faith. Be careful what you pray for my friends, because you just might get it!! :o) So whether this is a step out or a shove out on faith, it’s what IS and I’m getting excited about what WILL BE in 2009. I ask for your prayers for me and for Matt and for folks everywhere losing their jobs. We can most definitely use it.

But on you will go though the weather be foul
On you will go though your enemies prowl
On you will go though the Hakken-Kraks howl
Onward up many a frightening creek,
though your arms may get sore and your sneakers may leak.

On and on you will hike and I know you'll hike far
and face up to your problems whatever they are.

You'll get mixed up, of course, as you already know.
You'll get mixed up with many strange birds as you go.
So be sure when you step. Step with care and great tact
and remember that Life's a Great Balancing Act.
Just never forget to be dexterous and deft.
And never mix up your right foot with your left.

And will you succeed?
Yes! You will, indeed!
(98 and 3 / 4 percent guaranteed.)

KID, YOU’LL MOVE MOUNTAINS!

Taken from “Oh, the Places You’ll Go!” by Dr. Seuss
Copyright © 1990 by Theodor S. Geisel and Audrey S. Geisel