I was reading my friend Mary's blog where she was discussing turning 30 - and yes, I was smiling to myself since I am well over 30 now - and she had one post listing things she had done in her 30 years on this planet. I enjoyed reading that list and thought it would be interesting (for me, anyway) to come up with my own list. It's so easy to have a bad day and think that life is lousy or have several bad days and wonder why "nothing good ever happens to me!" and other such nonsense that we are all prone to. I wanted to take a little time to remind myself that lots of good, even great, things have happened in my life in these nearly 42 years.
I've ridden so many roller coasters in my life that I've lost count. I'm horribly afraid of heights, but I love the adrenaline rush of the speed of a coaster, so I keep going back.
I've watched my nieces grow from tiny babies into lovely young ladies.
I've picked up my life and moved to a foreign country.
I've seen my favorite band, Bon Jovi, live in concert 7 times, being close enough at least once to share some communication with my favorite band member, even if it was only for 30 seconds and meant more to me than it ever would to him.
I've fulfilled a life's dream by being able to travel to Australia for 5 weeks.
I've attended my 20th high school reunion and had more fun than I think you're supposed to have at one of those things.
I had a super cute date for my junior prom (and still get a great Christmas card every year from his wife showing off their wonderful family) who was quite sought after by other girls. I call that my "high school coup". And my dress was pretty freakin' awesome too!
I've performed live theater.
I've traveled to Europe (and will again!! I believe that!).
I've tried new things and failed and then gone back and tried more new things.
I've lost people I've loved and still gotten up and kept going.
I've embarrassed myself in public and lived to see another day.
I've graduated high school, college and graduate school.
I've had blond hair, black hair, red hair, and brown hair.
I've seen the boy who broke my heart become the man who made it a point to apologize for it...and forgiven him.
I've learned how much joy you can get from giving..
I've made new friends and kept old friends.
I've handled things well and I've handled things badly and hopefully learned from both.
I've worn ridiculously crazy clothes in public and refused to be embarrassed about it.
I've faced some of my fears and given myself permission to not feel obligated to push those limits ever again.
I've given myself permission to not be afraid of or ashamed of who I am.
I could probably keep going on if I spent enough time thinking about it and I probably will eventually. It's so easy to find fault with ourselves or our lives and so much harder to stop and say, "Hey, this is pretty great!" or to pat ourselves on the back for a job well done. But if we don't tell ourselves those things, then who will?
Silence is the true friend that never betrays. ~ Confucius
I was quiet yesterday. Not busy. Not loud. Not, well, not anything but quiet.
I'm not usually quiet, although I am an introvert by nature. Those two things don't really make sense, but they are true nonetheless. I was a very shy child and still am quite shy in certain social situations. I hate crowds or any large group of people where I don't know folks and don't have "my person" to latch onto so that I know I have a guaranteed person to talk to. I'd much rather stay home and read a book than put myself through the torture of an awkward and unenjoyable social gathering.
Yesterday was different though. I wasn't bypassing anything to seek out my solitude, I just decided to be quiet. Truth be told, I have been taking a few turns at being "down in the dumps" lately and I was feeling a bit of that yesterday, so maybe that actually did propel me into a quiet day. It matters not, however, because I needed the quiet for whatever reason and got it. Demanded it, in fact. Enjoyed it, most assuredly.
Silence is a source of great strength. ~ Lao Tzu
I listened to the rain coming down, softly at times and with the accompaniment of loud, crashing thunder at others.
I sat on my couch and savored the sound of silence, along with the darkness of a rain storm.
I took a nap with nothing but the occasional sound of the air conditioner whirring away in the background.
I read a book and really focused and concentrated on it.
I very deliberately turned the TV off, which I seldom do as I usually like the background noise to go along with the hustle and bustle of whatever I think needs to be hustled and bustled.
I deliberately stayed off of social media (with the exception of a few tweets during the Tony Awards).
I was quiet. And I liked it. And it was really, really good for me. It's time for me to be quiet more. I've said all I have to say today. And that's a good thing.
Not merely an absence of noise, Real Silence begins when a reasonable being withdraws from the noise in order to find peace and order in his inner sanctuary. ~ Peter Minard
I attended my first high school graduation last night since my own graduation 24 years ago. While we waited for my niece's ceremony to start, I tried to think back and remember my own graduation and...I can't. I don't. I've got...nothing. I mean, it happened. I know it happened because they let me into college and they usually don't unless you manage to actually get through high school and have the diploma to prove it. My memory is overall pretty great, but on this event, I seem to draw a blank.
Proof that I graduated from high school. Uh...that kind looks like me, right? Me then, at least.
I did, however, learn a few things at this most recent graduation ceremony.
1) Teenager girls like to wear very high heels. When did this happen? Has this always been going on? I do not remember that when I was a teen, but then, I'm in my 40s now and I still do not like to wear high heels. Definitely not the sky high ones I saw teetering and tottering across that stage last night. I am truly baffled. It was either high heels or an array of flip flops. The mind reels.
2) Teenage girls also need to learn to cover up. Or wear pants. I
know, I know, that sounds prudish and if so, then I'll own it and revel
in it, but damn, those girls need to cover up a little bit! Not all of
them, but some of them. Seriously. I saw a few too many dresses cut nearly up to their behinds and I don't want to see that on any woman, but especially not a teenager. For me, that shows someone without a lot of respect for themselves. Someone will likely tell me that it's just how fashion is these days and blah blah blah, but I'm still a fan of some modesty. Just because you've got it, doesn't mean you need to flaunt it. Especially not if you're a young girl.
3) People are rude and trashy, no matter where you go. This was out in full force last night from the people who chose to ignore the request by the school AND by the senior class not to hoot and holler for their specific graduate. That was something else I simply did not understand. Everyone was asked not to do that, soooo...why did people still do it? Is it simply because we live in a world where people no longer seem to care about propriety or respect or decorum? Where the Kardashians are looked up to as role models, but the leaders of the world - be the religious or political or whatever - are bashed at every opportunity? Or is it just because some people are low class and trashy? Because that's what I consider that behavior - plain old low class and trashy. What added insult to injury was that at least 50% of the people who did it would laugh and smile and immediately get up and start to leave the venue because they knew they were going to be kicked out. They knew, but they did not care. Maybe I'm just a rule-follower and I'm ok with that, but I was offended and annoyed by the behavior last night. Try to stay classy people. At least try.
4) Did I mention that people are rude and trashy? We had the "pleasure" of having a lady and her little boy come sit behind us last night and she yapped the entire time. Yapyapyapyapyapyapyap. And her kid would not shut up either. I felt bad for him because he was maybe 5, in which case he really should not have been there and expected to sit still and be quiet. I have enough trouble doing that at my age; I rarely expect it out of a little person like that. My sister-in-law definitely did not appreciate him kicking her seat. Finally my ex-sister-in-law turned around to the woman - who had been keeping up a running dialogue with...someone...about whether or not to hoot and holler for her daughter (she did) and how everyone else was doing it and once she did it how her daughter was not going to be happy about it - and told her that they either had to shut up or leave. The woman looked at her and said, "Really??" to which the reply was "Yes, really." She muttered something about my ex-SIL being rude (clearly, she needed a mirror to hold up to herself) and a few minutes later she did finally leave. Blessed silence ensued. I've never been so grateful.
5) High school kids are pretty much the same throughout history. And I mean that in a good way. They were hopeful and excited and ready to graduate and celebrate. They seemed to have a great time tossing their hats in the air at the end and shouting out a few school spirit cheers (I assume that's what it was since I couldn't actually understand it). I imagine most, if not all, of them were sitting there wondering what the future was going to hold and what life was like outside of high school. The speeches some of them gave were basically what you'd expect to hear from high schoolers on the verge of spreading their wings. "Look forward, remember to also look back. Cherish the memories and the friendships because we will never all be together like this again." The more things change, the more they stay the same...
6) You can compete and still be friends. The valedictorian and salutatorian gave their speeches together, each taking a turn with what they wanted to say. They talked about how they met freshman year and both wanted to be the valedictorian of the class and kept up that friendly competition throughout high school. The young ladies said that they knew the class was all going their separate ways now, but hoped that some people would remain friends and that one day everyone would have at least one person still in their lives that they could say "I've known them since high school." They knew that they would be that person for each other. I hope the rest of the class was listening to them and that their wish for their classmates will come true.
Ah yes, I do not remember my own high school graduation, but I imagine it went a little something like all of that (except maybe more big hair than short skirts). I wouldn't want to go back and have to do it all again, but I'm not sorry I was there the first time. I've got a 25th reunion on the horizon next year and I'm still on the fence about going or not going to that. I loved being at my 20th reunion, but sometimes it better to keep looking forward than to spend any more time looking back.
