Tuesday, September 22, 2009

The Week of SUCK!

Well my friends, it was certainly a Week of SUCK last week. Two friends gone. Two friends dying much too young. Two families mourning the loss of loved ones. Many more sharing in that mourning. Totally a WEEK OF SUCK!

On Tuesday I found out that my high school friend Mike had passed away the previous Saturday. He was hit by a car while stopped in the road, at night, trying to help an injured cat. I had communicated a little with Mike about a year or so ago on MySpace, but prior to that not for about 20 years. Many in our circle of friends have wondered over the years what had become of Mike and I am glad that before his death at least some of us had found that answer.

Mike was a sweetheart of a guy. He drove me to school every day of my junior, his senior, year of high school and we had all kinds of conversations. He was probably the first one who knew all about my crush on...well, if you went to high school with me then you'd know just who that was, so I don't have to elaborate. :o) Since his death someone said they had been trying to get him to come back east with them to see folks during my class reunion. Mike will definitely be with us in spirit.

Then Thursday the news came down that my friend Andrea was fading fast. I don't even know what to say about all of that. I think I said a lot of it pretty well in my previous 2 posts here on this blog. My heart is sick for her family and everyone who knew and loved her. Her death is such a great loss.

I freely admit a lot of the friends in our circle were much closer to Andrea than I was. I'm not big on making phone calls and I can be really lousy with returning e-mails. I don't get on instant messenger anymore. I tend to lose touch with people unless I can keep track of them somewhere like Facebook. But I still grieve strongly for her loss. I tear up just thinking about her. And that is a testimony to my friend - how she could touch SO MANY lives and it doesn't matter whether you were her best friend or hadn't talked to her in years, she still touched you.

But while I am sad for myself and her family and friends, I'm happy for Andrea. Happy that she's out of pain. Happy that she doesn't have to fight the cancer anymore. Happy that she's left behind a great legacy through everything she accomplished in a life that was all too short. It's certainly worth celebrating. We will all die one day, but I dare say that we probably all won't be as well thought of as Andrea.

And so with last week being so sucky, I'm looking forward to this new week with happier times and events. If I was excited about my 20th high school reunion before, then I am ecstatic now that it is merely 10 days away. So many faces I want to see, friends I want to hug. So long Week of Suck. Don't let the door hit you in the ass on the way out.

Sunday, September 20, 2009

RIP Andrea Taormina Pool

Do not stand at my grave and weep.

I am not there, I do not sleep.

I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glint on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
I am the gentle autumn rain.

When you wake in the morning hush,
I am the swift, uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circling flight.
I am the soft starlight at night.

Do not stand at my grave and weep.
I am not there, I do not sleep.
(Do not stand at my grave and cry.
I am not there, I did not die!

Mary Frye (1932)

Friday, September 18, 2009

My friend Andrea

I originally shared this with my church group back on February 23, 2009, but after getting news last night that the end is truly near, I wanted to post this here on my blog. I ask for prayers for Andrea and her family.

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"In the long run, we shape our lives, and we shape ourselves.. The process never ends until we die. And the choices we make are ultimately our responsibility." ~ Eleanor Roosevelt ~

My friend Andrea is going to die.

She’s been fighting breast cancer for over a year now and on Friday she got the following news from her doctor: “It's stage 4, there is no cure, only managing the disease. I have multiple extensive lesions in my liver. The liver can accommodate tumors and still function, but they ran a blood test just to make sure. As for my bones, it is in the spine, shoulders, sternum, ribs and femur.”

And so, my friend Andrea is going to die.

We’re ALL going to die one day, I know that. From the minute we are born, we are all dying. Just at different rates. If you think about death that way, it makes it a tad less scary. To me, anyway.

But still…my friend Andrea is going to die. Much too young. Much too soon.

I met her through our mutual love of romance novels (don’t judge!) when we both found our way a decade ago to an internet bulletin board dedicated to my then-favorite author Judith McNaught. Through this wonderful group of women, spread throughout the country and the world, I have made some true friends. Good women. Smart women. Doctors, lawyers, teachers, stay-at-home moms. Slightly nutty women, but then again, they are my friends, right?

I stayed in Drea’s home when I interviewed for a job at Texas A&M 7 years ago. When I lived in Dubai, we’d chat almost every day on instant messenger as I was wrapping up my day and eating dinner and she was just kick starting her day back in College Station. She’s funny and beautiful and gutsy and a fighter.

And she’s going to die.

I’ve cried A LOT the past few days. I’m crying as I type this. It’s not fair. Nothing like this is ever fair to anyone. I pray for Andrea every time I think of her, which is at least once an hour. I figure God’s going to get so sick of hearing the name Andrea that He’s going to give us the miracle we desperately need to save her life.

That’s what I pray for, but I’m also a realist. I know how bad it is. I know the statistics. I know my friend Andrea is going to die. I just don’t know when.

I tell you all that so that you’ll remember to appreciate the people in your life. So that you’ll remember to appreciate YOUR life. Love your family. Love your friends. Look for friends all over the place. It’s amazing sometimes how the people you’d never imagine being friends with can become the best friends in the entire world.

Call them. Write them. Send them a flippin’ e-mail. I don’t care what you do, but keep in touch. If they mean something to you, make sure they know it.

And lastly, take care of yourself ‘cause God don’t make no junk. I won’t tell you not to eat that piece of cake or that cheeseburger because that would be quite hypocritical of me. Andrea is a devotee of Weight Watchers and in great shape. She runs. She takes dance classes. Cancer doesn’t pick and choose us based on what we had for breakfast.

Different people come into and out of our lives at different times for different reasons. Please, please appreciate the people in your life. They will be gone all too soon.