Monday, July 23, 2018

"What I'm saying is that men and women can't be friends because the sex part always gets in the way."


I love "When Harry Met Sally". I really do. I need to quote it every day in life, just because. Not just for blog titles. For anyone who actually read yesterday's post, here is Part 2.

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As previously stated, my friend would pop in and out of my life. I became preoccupied by other people and things, but whenever he reappeared, it was always welcomed. 

A few years after I moved out of town, I suddenly found out that we weren’t going to be living in reasonably close proximity any longer. This time he was the one picking up and moving on – quite literally. Now hundreds of miles would separate us, but why should that matter since we were only friends? And not even close ones at that. 

On the day I learned of his impending move, we had a humorous exchange that actually tied in to one that had happened about 8 months prior. Back then, I’d been planning a girls’ night with some friends and made a joke about needing someone to drunk text while we were hanging out (the real joke being that I rarely drink during girls’ nights since I have to drive home afterwards). I realized this flirty text friend of mine was the only person who might appreciate receiving that sort of nonsense and told him so.

That first girls’ night, he humored me greatly with a lot of silly banter. This was actually the night some friends questioned why he wasn’t a good option for dating. As much as I enjoyed our interactions, my trust issues have always been tough to overcome. Plus, it has always been my experience that I misread any and all signals from men. Always.

Back to the more recent evening.  My friend was informed that if things got wild and crazy at this second girls’ night that I would try not to proposition him. It was late. I was tired. It seemed like a reasonable thing to say to someone.  He chuckled and said if that happened he’d handle it with grace and dignity.

Well, the proposition never occurred. My friends and I were having fun that night, then I got busy and forgot about the whole conversation it until a few days later when I received a text indicating his disappointment.  Hand to God, that’s the first time I had any clue that this man might have more than a passing flirtation kind of interest in me. I am just that dim. 

But now I thought, “Why the hell not?!” We weren't ever going to see each other again, so if he rejected me, it wouldn't matter. We would go live our separate lives like we always had. Why not make the offer and if he says no, it's fine. Turns out, however, when I suggested we get together, he said yes.

I should state here, in case it is somehow unclear, that this was a hook up. That’s all it was meant to be. I told him that it was no-strings-attached and we agreed on no expectations from either party. We were casual friends who seemed to like and perhaps even respect each other, but our lives weren’t likely to continue to intersect in the future. I wasn’t looking for love and if I had been, it was…wait for it…in all the wrong places. Which became painfully obvious later on.

To be continued...

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