Regrets, I've had a few...

...but then again, too few to mention...

Or so sings Frank Sinatra.  We all have regrets and I would always rather regret something did than something I didn't do, but I'll be damned if they can't gunk up the works and sneak up on you sometimes. 

Regrets have been in my mind a lot this week and I'm not really sure why.  There are many things I do and do not do that I never feel regret over.  Usually if I do have regrets, it's when I decide late at night that I'm just sooooo hungry I have to eat something and feel queasy afterwards or toss and turn, getting a lousy night's sleep.  Or it's when I've spoken in anger and haste and hurt someone.  Said or done something I can't take back, but oh how I wish that I could.  But you can't go back and change the past; only use it as a guide to making better decisions and choices in the future. 

This week I'm regretting little things like forgetting to buy yogurt at the store last night since it likely means I'll have to make a second trip one day soon.  Or not going to bed on time and being pretty darned tired most days this week.  These are things I can change for the future, but for some reason the biggest regret in my head is about the Mystery Man I met in the Dubai airport back in the summer of 2001.  I've blogged about him at least once over the years, but for some reason he is front and center in my mind this week. I have no idea why or how he popped up, but there he is.  Maybe there is something going on and he needs my prayers, so God has put him in my mind.  Maybe I'm feeling adrift as I try to sort some things out in my life and MM represents a time when someone appeared rather at random and offered encouragement.  Maybe I'm searching for that again right now. I honestly do. not. know. why he has been on my mind this week.  You can't change the past and it is safe to say that this is not someone I will ever cross paths with again.  But I'm glad that I KNOW God hears my prayers and He looks in on this man whenever I pray for him.

Eh. I just felt like getting that out of my system today. That's what blogging is for sometimes.  Putting it "out there", if for no other reason than to get it out of yourself.

Mystery Man

It was a hot July morning in Dubai – is there any other kind? – and I found myself at the airport, getting ready for a flight back to the US. I moved to Dubai in mid-February 2001 to work at Zayed University. Six months later and very, very homesick, I was heading home for 2 weeks to see family and friends and just revel in being back in the United States for a while.

I had purchased my tickets through a local travel agency and was all set to go on one of the first direct flights that Delta Airlines had going in and out of Dubai International Airport. Alas, not being a seasoned traveler, I did not check behind my travel agent and when I got to the counter to check in around 4am, the ticket agent told me I had not been confirmed for the flight and would have to wait until 6am after they called everyone for boarding to see if I could get on the flight.

Needless to say, anyone who knows me knows I began to panic at this point. I think I managed not to cry, but I was clearly not happy. At some point, perhaps sensing my distress, a fellow traveler approached me to ask what was going on. I remember having seen him in the check in area along with another man dressed in the traditional Middle Eastern dishdasha, but he was dressed in jeans and a sweater. He asked what was wrong and I told him. He never offered solutions as I recall, but simply offered support and his conviction that everything would work out and I would be able to get on the plane.

I don’t recall that we spoke much more, but when it came time for boarding, he looked at me and said, “I’ll see you at the gate.”

After everyone else had checked in, I was finally able to be confirmed for the flight – which was only 1/3 full to begin with, so I still do not understand why it was necessary to put me through 2 hours of torture waiting to find out if I was going to get on the flight. I made my way to the boarding waiting area and he smiled when he saw me and said, “I told you it would work out.”

We boarded and with such a small number of passengers everyone had a great amount of space to themselves in the seating areas. The flight did make a stop in Cairo to clean up the plane and change crews and everyone had to deplane for 45 minutes. I sat in the waiting area of the Cairo airport with this Mystery Man – we never exchanged names – and a woman from Dubai who was traveling to Disney World. We all chatted about things I can’t remember nearly 10 years later. I only remember the woman’s final destination and that my Mystery Man was Canadian and originally from Kashmir and worked for a Canadian bank in Dubai. I wish I could remember more about what the 3 of us talked about because we enjoyed each other’s company so much.

Then it was time to reboard the plane and head for JFK Airport in New York. It was also at this point that I made one of the dumbest decisions of my life. When my new nameless friend suggested we sit together, I declined. I have NO IDEA why. I think my intent was to move around the cabin later and go back to talk to him as I think he wasn’t sitting too horribly far from me. But in truth, all these years later I can’t remember exactly what he said or what I said or anything except that we did not sit together. I knew that we were also on the same connecting flight to Atlanta from JFK, but after meeting my friend Diana at the airport for a brief chat I never saw the Mystery Man again.

This story, however, is not about me not spending more time talking to this man. I regret that and always have, but that’s water under the bridge. What I have not forgotten, however, is the kindness of this stranger. When I most needed encouragement, he was there with it. Not spouting platitudes or clichés, but simply saying, “I’ll see you at the gate.”

From time to time I wonder what has become of the Mystery Man. I have a very vague recollection of what he looked like, but I would not know him if I ran into him on the street. I am sorry that I never had the chance to tell him how much I appreciated him that morning. How much even almost 10 years later that it still means to me that he was kind to me. When I think of him now and then, I send up a quick little prayer for his well-being and ask God to please let him know that I’m grateful.

While we have people in our lives that are constants, we have the transients as well. Folks who come into and go out of our lives for a reason and a season. When I thought of the Mystery Man this morning, I was struck for the first time by how easy it is to impact someone’s life in such a short time. I will never forget this man. Never. I only hope that from time to time he remembers the American woman from the airport, but it doesn’t matter if he does or not. I will remember him and maybe, at least every now and then, I will return the favor by being kind to someone else as a way of thanking this man without truly being able to thank him.

Everything we do, everything we say, it all matters. No matter how insignificant we think it might be, it matters. To someone.