Friday, July 6, 2018

There is no joy in "swiping right"


So… recently I went through a break-up. I haven’t wanted to write about it a lot (and I have realized that I only seem to want to blog when I’ve got some life issues going on rather than when I’m all happy and sappy) because, while I do think there’s a great story in how we got together, it’s not one I can tell right now without crying. Yep. I said it. The whole thing has made me cry. Like, at random times. I can’t even write about crying without starting to cry. Go figure, all you people that think I have no soul. Well, I do. So there. And a heart. It’s just broken right now.

But that’s not the point of this blog entry. One day I will write about that relationship and that man, because I like the story, so I want to tell it. I may even get up on a stage somewhere and tell it because people who’ve already heard it do agree… it’s a damned fine story. It may not have had a particularly happy ending, but that doesn’t mean the rest of the story wasn’t worthwhile. So one day…but not today.

For today, I have some other thoughts rumbling around in my head. As a little social experiment, I re-downloaded the Bumble dating app and have decided to “swipe right” on every match that pops up. For those unfamiliar (and be glad if you are), Bumble is sorta like a more female-friendly version of Tinder. Well, I also assume Tinder is mostly about hook ups (I have never used it, but that’s how it is portrayed). With Bumble, the woman has to make the first move if each of you both have swiped right (if you swipe left, that means you aren’t interested). You have 24 hours to make contact with your match or it disappears and then they have 24 hours to respond or again, it disappears. 

By randomly swiping right on all the men who have popped up, I’ve made way more matches than I would have if I was actually looking at their profiles and picking and choosing. Hey, my family always said I was too picky, so now they can’t say that. Of course, it was mostly my grandmother who said that and she’s been dead for a while now, so if she’s still bitching from beyond the grave that I’m single then those heavenly choirs of angels need to get to work to keep her occupied. I’m just sayin’…

I’ll keep this little experiment going for a while now to see what happens. Once I actually DO match with someone, then I go look at their pictures and profile and see if we have anything at all in common. Location is important too since my last attempt at romance was long distance and we see how well that worked out. *insert appropriately sarcastic face emoji here please* Then I reach out with some idiotic comment about the weather or how is your day. Whatever works to get a conversation going. The trouble is, these folks can’t seem to carry on a conversation back!! Oh believe me, I do make some kind of effort after making first contact (there should be a Star Trek TNG reference here…I just know it…), but much as I can talk and talk and talk, it’s hard to carry on a conversation with someone that gives one-word responses. Do guys really think, as a friend speculated this morning, that they don’t have to make an effort anymore? Egads. And no thanks!

The truth is though, I don't want to meet a man that way. If I am meant to meet and date another one, I just want to meet him like (I think) normal people should meet - in the store or through friends or at church or something like that. I'm sure in today's world it IS normal to meet on-line, but that's not what I want. That's another reason I'll be angry with the guy I was dating longer than perhaps I should be. We were two people who knew each other for quite a while and then decided to get romantic and it worked. For a while, anyway. THAT is the kind of way I want to get involved with someone. Not by swiping right!

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