As previously stated, I am The
Clueless Wonder when it comes to signals from men, so initially I thought I was
being rejected. My friend had been surprised by my offer, but after a couple of
days' chit chat and some clarification from him, we decided one morning that he
would come over that evening. Once again, no expectations were being placed on
each other or for anything to actually happen. At the very least, it would be
chatting with and saying goodbye to a friend. At most, well…sex. That was the
plan, right?
Our evening together was very,
very nice. (What? You thought you were going to get details??) We sat on my
couch for 3 hours talking about anything and everything (and maybe even some
people we both know) before he ever tried to kiss me. To be honest, I was
getting to the point where if he didn’t make a move soon, I was going to ask
him to leave so I could go to bed because it was getting late and I was tired! Hahaha
But I’d decided that since I had made a big first move by inviting him over, it
was up to him to take it any further. I mean, he might have changed his mind!
Although, when faced with no-strings-attached sex, I’m not sure what man is
going to turn that down.
The next day, I deliberately
did not contact him, nor was I upset or wondering if I’d hear from him. No
strings was MY idea after all. I truly had zero expectations except that maybe
when I texted him in six months to see how life was treating him that he wouldn’t
be a jerk. The previous night when he made it home safely, he texted to say
he’d had a wonderful time, so that was good enough for me.
Around lunch time, the first
texts from him started to arrive. All about what was going on with the move.
You know, all the normal stuff people talk about if they are friends or lovers.
Eventually, I told him to knock it off because being nice and sweet wasn’t fair
when we were about to have hundreds of miles between us. Oh, did I forget to
mention that we got together 2 DAYS BEFORE HE MOVED???? Yeah. That.
But you know what? He didn’t
stop. He kept texting me and really selling himself as a great guy. I tried to
fight it. All the feels and crap like that. I honestly did. This wasn’t what I
wanted!! This wasn’t what we’d agreed on, dammit!! He was making me like him. Not
just like him, but…“like-like” him and that was totally unfair. He thought it
was funny when I told him to stop being so appealing and basically laughed at
me and told me he’d be happy to see me again. The bastard.
After about a week of that, I
asked him didn’t he think it was crazy for us to be doing “this” – whatever
“this” was? He said let’s not label it, just enjoy it and see where it might
go. And so we did.
We had a lot of fun with this
texting relationship, which is what it was and kind of has to be these days
with hundreds of miles between you. We talked every day, not constantly, but
throughout the day. Soon enough we were planning to see each other again for
some birthday celebrations. I do love my birthday.
As time went on – it would be
10 ½ weeks between our first and second dates – we got to know each other
through those messages. We discovered we had a lot in common and we also discovered
that we genuinely liked each other. We became friends and each commented on how
happy we were that that had happened. Better than that, we both could not wait
to see each other again. I hadn’t felt that way in a long, long time. I was all
in with my attraction to him and enjoying being ridiculously smitten. Thank
goodness that feeling was mutual.
We did get together after
those 10 ½ weeks and each admitted to being a little nervous beforehand since
it wasn’t like we’d been on a real date before. We were looking forward to
spending time together and getting to hold hands and do normal dating stuff. In
fact, he insisted on holding my hand
in the car and while walking down the street. I tried to protest while he was
driving, but he was having none of it. He wanted to hold my hand and I wasn’t
going to argue.
Unfortunately after that date,
we were back once again to time and distance playing an unwelcome part in our
romance. Ummm…was it a romance? A relationship? Were we dating? Well, we still
hadn’t defined it, but I didn’t care because we were together in whatever
capacity because we wanted to be and
it made both of us very happy. We weren’t ignorant of the obstacles or the
distance between us, but why rock the boat until and unless you have to.
A couple of months later we
managed to get together again and, again, were both so happy to spend time
together. I remember sitting in the movie theatre, holding hands once again,
and turning to look at him and finding he was already looking at me. We both
had goofy grins on our faces. It’s one of my favorite memories. When you don’t
have the ability to see someone regularly or easily, I think you appreciate the
little things a little bit more.
The goodbyes continued to suck
like a Hoover, but once again, knowing that someone is missing you and thinking
about you and can’t wait to see you again, well, that’s pretty wonderful.
Until it’s not.
And they don’t.
And you aren’t sure why.
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