About 10 months ago I declared it "The Year of Yes" (sorry Shonda Rhimes, I only heard of your book recently). I don't really remember what precipitated that decision, but it came up in a conversation with a co-worker shortly after my birthday and then it became so. The plan was to try saying "yes" to more things than I say "no" to. I've done so-so with that personal challenge. I honestly don't think about it a lot of the time and just go with whatever my gut thinks I should or shouldn't do. I mean, a random "yes" to everything is never going to be a good idea, although it could land you in some interesting situations I suppose. But not necessarily good ones.
Sometimes I stop, as I did today, and realize that I haven't really been saying yes to much lately or even trying to find opportunities to say yes. With less than 2 months left in the year (it started around October 19th), I decided I need to work a little harder to find those opportunities. Or to at least see them when they present themselves. I'm not great at recognizing opportunities, even when they are hovering right in front of my eyes. I get so caught up in whatever nonsense is happening on a daily basis that I think I overlook opportunities that come along. My goal for the next few months is to try and keep my eyes open a little more, my mind open a lot more, and try to see the things that are coming into my life that I need to grab a hold of and enjoy the ride.
I've definitely had some fun in the past year. I've opened my mind to things. I've done things that I consider outside of my normal nature, though when I said one time that whatever I was doing "just isn't like me", a friend responded with something along the lines of how maybe who I am now is the real me and who I was before isn't so much that person anymore. Who knows. I imagine whoever I am at any point in time is the "real" me as it is indicative of who I am at that point in my life, with those particular life experiences.
I'll confess that I like who I am more now than who I was a year ago. Although at the same time, I can't say that I really remember who that person was. I'm not sure if I'm actually a different person or if it's all in my mind. Oh sure, I didn't wear a lot of dresses until about a year ago, but I'm not sure that's indicative of a giant personality change or anything. It's just a heck of a lot of fun messing with the heads of women I work with who can't seem to figure out why I'm suddenly wearing dresses. Hint: I can fit into some of the ones I had now, so I wear them. Where my obsessive need to buy blue dresses came from, however, I have no idea.
Mostly I feel like I'm happier now than I was before and friends have expressed that they see it in me. It's nice that it's showing through, rather than my standard MO of being seriously grumpy and unpleasant. Life is too short not to enjoy it and that's what I try to remind myself. Even when enjoying is sitting in bed watching TV on a Friday night.
One thing that has sadly fallen off of my radar a long, long way is my relationship with God. While I've been out running around buying pink sweaters and blue dresses, I still haven't found a church home in my "new" city after living here for 4 years. Church was a huge part of my life before and filled with so many friends and good times. Now I just roll over on Sunday morning and go back to sleep, grateful for a chance to sleep in and a lazy day ahead. That's not who I want to be or how I want to live. Perhaps as I try to refocus on saying "yes" more the next few months, I need to turn that focus more to the things that would please God rather than simply what pleases me. The things that do more for his glory than for my own. Those things necessarily have to be mutually exclusive. I can have fun and enjoy my life and all the while be doing things that glorify the lord. I've lost my focus on that, but am going to try and turn it around.
When "The Year of Yes" ends in a few months, I have to be ready to turn it into "The Life of Yes" or maybe just "I'll Say Yes When I Feel Like it and Otherwise Leave Me Alone". The latter is so much more like who I think I am, but as long as I keep looking for changes to grow and change, I think it's all good.
Sometimes I stop, as I did today, and realize that I haven't really been saying yes to much lately or even trying to find opportunities to say yes. With less than 2 months left in the year (it started around October 19th), I decided I need to work a little harder to find those opportunities. Or to at least see them when they present themselves. I'm not great at recognizing opportunities, even when they are hovering right in front of my eyes. I get so caught up in whatever nonsense is happening on a daily basis that I think I overlook opportunities that come along. My goal for the next few months is to try and keep my eyes open a little more, my mind open a lot more, and try to see the things that are coming into my life that I need to grab a hold of and enjoy the ride.
I've definitely had some fun in the past year. I've opened my mind to things. I've done things that I consider outside of my normal nature, though when I said one time that whatever I was doing "just isn't like me", a friend responded with something along the lines of how maybe who I am now is the real me and who I was before isn't so much that person anymore. Who knows. I imagine whoever I am at any point in time is the "real" me as it is indicative of who I am at that point in my life, with those particular life experiences.
I'll confess that I like who I am more now than who I was a year ago. Although at the same time, I can't say that I really remember who that person was. I'm not sure if I'm actually a different person or if it's all in my mind. Oh sure, I didn't wear a lot of dresses until about a year ago, but I'm not sure that's indicative of a giant personality change or anything. It's just a heck of a lot of fun messing with the heads of women I work with who can't seem to figure out why I'm suddenly wearing dresses. Hint: I can fit into some of the ones I had now, so I wear them. Where my obsessive need to buy blue dresses came from, however, I have no idea.
Mostly I feel like I'm happier now than I was before and friends have expressed that they see it in me. It's nice that it's showing through, rather than my standard MO of being seriously grumpy and unpleasant. Life is too short not to enjoy it and that's what I try to remind myself. Even when enjoying is sitting in bed watching TV on a Friday night.
One thing that has sadly fallen off of my radar a long, long way is my relationship with God. While I've been out running around buying pink sweaters and blue dresses, I still haven't found a church home in my "new" city after living here for 4 years. Church was a huge part of my life before and filled with so many friends and good times. Now I just roll over on Sunday morning and go back to sleep, grateful for a chance to sleep in and a lazy day ahead. That's not who I want to be or how I want to live. Perhaps as I try to refocus on saying "yes" more the next few months, I need to turn that focus more to the things that would please God rather than simply what pleases me. The things that do more for his glory than for my own. Those things necessarily have to be mutually exclusive. I can have fun and enjoy my life and all the while be doing things that glorify the lord. I've lost my focus on that, but am going to try and turn it around.
When "The Year of Yes" ends in a few months, I have to be ready to turn it into "The Life of Yes" or maybe just "I'll Say Yes When I Feel Like it and Otherwise Leave Me Alone". The latter is so much more like who I think I am, but as long as I keep looking for changes to grow and change, I think it's all good.
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