Wednesday, October 22, 2014

Reunion Reflections

I originally posted this entry earlier today, but now I'm coming back to it to add a bit here, change a bit there. See if I can flesh out my thoughts a bit more. 

I went to my 25th high school reunion on Saturday night. As most or many will say in that situation, "How did I get to be this old??" Honestly, it seems like just yesterday that I was in high school. I can barely fathom that it's been 25 years. I think all my fellow grads felt the same way.

Fortunately for me, I enjoy going to reunions like this. I missed my 10th, even after helping to plan it, but made it to the 20th and will certainly show up at any and all that come along in the future as I am able. I enjoy them, but I know that some folks do not. I've met more than one person who would never even considering attending their high school reunion.  That makes me a little sad, but I have to remind myself that 1) not everyone had a good experience in high school and 2) not everyone is quite the sentimental type that I am over stuff like this. I tend to want to bond for life. I mean, I would still be keeping up and spending time with people I knew in nursery school if I could get them to go along with it. LOL  Maybe I have attachment issues...

I laughed myself silly at dinner sitting with my friend Ken and his wife Rachel and some other folks.  Ken has some interesting memories from high school. I’m not saying they didn’t happen - although he did mention *ahem* certain reasons why his memory might be muddled from those years - but they sure were funny! I laughed till my sides hurt and for that, I am grateful.  Now if I could only remember if I really did do and say those things! Or maybe it's better if I forget.

The high school reunion is an interesting animal.  I mean, where else can you go that people will come up and talk to you like they know you, but you know for a fact that you never spoke two words to each other during all four years of high school? Now, I don't mean that as a criticism at all. I really don't. It's a little odd (to me, anyway), but mostly it's really nice. There seems to be something about a shared experience that connects people as we grow older, regardless of how well they knew or did not know each other once upon a time. At least, that’s what I have found to be true. So I know I hugged people and talked to people that I never spoke to  in high school for whatever reason and to me, that's fun.  My hope would always be that any bad experiences or teenage cliquish divisions can be left at the door of the banquet hall and a good time can be had by all.  Our group sure seemed to make that work on Saturday night.  Yay us!  I tried to talk to as many people as I could, but I know I didn't manage to get to everyone. But that's the only way I know to enjoy those gatherings - get up and move around and mingle. I've yet to regret doing it.

I must say that my jealousy was in high gear that night as well. The ladies I graduated with are all looking wonderful. I, however, am not. Let's not discuss the size of my butt. Please, I beg of you. Hence, there will be no posting of photos from the weekend.  Yeah, I was jealous, but I also like cake. You can see the problem here. It is, however, my problem, but I'll try to turn it around and say that I thought everyone looked wonderful.  Did I mention I was jealous?  But I'm going to get rid of that problem before the next go-round, if to make no one happy but myself.

Yeah, I'll keep going to my high school reunions when I am able and will hopefully continue to enjoy them as well.  It'll be sadder as years go on and some folks are unable to be there. That's the worst part - the folks who have passed away since we graduated.  Poignant reminders that life is short.

I couldn't find many clips that I really loved from movies or TV shows about high school reunions. I know there are movies about reunions, but it's been so long since I've seen them that nothing stands out. But this clip from Designing Women has always been a favorite (because of my own weight issues I have no doubt) and I'd love to have a reunion weekend with my college friends.  Just not because anyone has died. Please, let's get together when we all have the chance to do so. I think it would be worth it.

 The best part is around 4 minutes into this clip.


Not high school, but I dare say that I think my college friends and I need to have a big, crazy reunion weekend.  But not involving anyone's death please.

Saturday, October 18, 2014

On the occasion of my 25th high school reunion



This weekend is my 25th high school reunion. I’m only going to one of the events, later tonight, because, well, I’m old and I’m tired and I can’t stay awake past about 9pm on a Friday night. I’d never have made it through the football festivities last night. I also only went to 1 football game in 4 years of high school, so going now would see odd. So I slept through whatever shenanigans happened last night, but maybe I’m rested up to get into some this evening.  

Shenanigans or not, it should be an interesting evening.  I think I am about the only one of my smaller core group of friends from “back in the day” who will be in attendance.  We were all together 5 years ago for the 20th reunion and had a ridiculous amount of fun, but for various and sundry reason, most will not be attending this time.

We had a very large graduating class so it was impossible to know everyone, but over the years, due to reunion planning meetings and social media, I’ve had the pleasure to get to know better a lot of people whose names and faces I may have known, but who I did not know personally back in high school. I like that. I like it a lot. Life is not high school and not all about high school.  Thank goodness!  

High school is hard (and so is life, but work with me here). If you get out unscathed, well, you’re lucky.  Kids are mean to each other. Just nasty for some reason. Maybe it’s raging hormones or the needs to pick on someone who is an easier target than you are because someone is doing the same to you or who the hell knows what it is, but high school is hard.   

I had what I consider a run-of-the-mill high school experience.  It had highs and lows, but it wasn’t anything spectacular – except my prom dress. That was damned spectacular. – and that’s fine with me.  My parents sheltered me too much by not letting me ride in cars with teenager drivers or letting me go out with friends, so that colored the experience a lot. I did go place and do things, but only sometimes.  I’m not sure what the need was to be quite so controlling, but it’s a long time past. It colors how and who I am now, but that’s a blog post for another time. I do consider my high school experience to be pretty typical and certainly tame.  

I don’t recall being picked on or bullied with the exception of one instance my freshman year of high school. However, the joke was on the jokesters, whether they knew it or not. Some boys chose to tell me one day at lunch that so-and-so thought I was cute.  When I excited the cafeteria, they were laughing about that since it apparently hadn’t been true.  But you see, I had no idea who the boy was that they were talking about. I was new to that school and it was probably just a month or so into the school year. I had never heard of this boy before and while at least one friend thought he was cute, once I figure out who he was, well, let’s just say I did not agree.  No offense to the boy, now man, in question, but he wasn’t my type and based on more recent photos, still isn’t.  I’m not sure why I remember that incident except maybe *because* I was able to roll my eyes and shrug it off so easily.  I was lucky because maybe folks were talking behind my back at times, but I was never aware. If they’d wanted me to know, they’d have said it to my face, right?

The high school reunion is an interesting thing. I have always been gung ho about them. I don’t care if it’s a room full of close friends or full of people I did not know very well, I’m game to chat with folks and play catch up and have a good time.  But I know folks who would consider attending a reunion akin to the torture of the damned. I have never understood that, but we obviously had different experiences. Speaking with someone at work earlier this week, they said, “I have trouble making it to my *college* reunions…and those are people that I *liked*!” Clearly, we had different experiences.

So me, I’m looking forward to a few hours of visiting and catching up or, quite frankly, talking to people that I may never have spoken to before in my life because we didn’t run in the same circles, we just ran inside the same arena.  We’ll be in the same room. We might as well talk.  And if that turns out to be a bust, I’ll get some cake from the buffet, stuff my face, then hop in my car and drive home, wiser from the experience.  Now if you’ll excuse me, I should get going and actually attempt to get ready. I looked all over to find my cute little black clutch purse to carry, but it is clearly hiding in the witness protection program somewhere in South America.  Instead, I’ll carry  my Walmart Tinkerbell purse.  It’s probably so much more of who I am than the other one is and 25 years on, I’m damned sure not going to pretend I’m someone else.