This blog is for my female friends, so if there are actually any men out there reading this, stop now or shut up about TMI. It’s my blog and I’ll talk about whatever I want to. And today, I’m talking about bras.
More specifically, why is it like the torture of the damned to go bra shopping? I am convinced that bras are really only made for women with small breasts who are trying to put them up and out and make them appear bigger. And as someone who already has big boobs, well, only being able to find smaller bras is really amazingly UN-helpful.
As it is, bras are some kind of medieval torture device. They are ridiculously hard to get on. Why is that? Why is it so freakin’ hard to put a bra on?? It’s a production! A little poking, a little prodding. Stuff this in that compartment and that in the other. Shift around. Jiggle around. Smush it if need be. And then, for the love of God, don’t bend or move the wrong way during the day or you have to run to the restroom and shift it all around again. *sigh* It’s like a workout all in itself.
It’s not like they are the most comfortable things in the world to wear all day either, although I will confess that I did buy some new ones recently and one of them – they are all the same, oddly, but this literally only applies to one of the three I purchased – is amazingly comfy. I would tell you what brand and style it was, but then I would actually have to take it off and read the tag and, as previously established, it’s a fight to get that thing back on. Suffice it to say, however, that if I could wear this one particular bra every day, I would. It’s heavenly. (And I can totally find the tag later if anyone actually wants to know the brand and style.)
Trouble is, by the time I need to buy some new bras, they will have discontinued that style!! It happens every. Single. Stinking. Time. Without fail. I find a bra that – glory be! – fits and fits well. It makes The Girls look good and keeps ‘em comfy at the same time. So I buy several, but eventually I need new ones and then I can’t find those anymore! Then the hunt begins and I just detest bra shopping. I put it off until a few weeks ago when things were desperate and after many failed attempts, I did finally find the 3 that I bought. I should have bought 900, but these babies aren’t cheap either!
*sigh* I miss the 36Cs I had in college. I think they might even have been perky then, without the underwire! (I think underwire is about the only thing that can make 40DDs perky…) Oh the good old days! Yeah. Right now if I could just have a little lift I think it might offset some of the torture of the whole bra shopping experience. Or at least The Twins would be back where they started in their glory days. Uh…I think they had glory days. I’d probably have to ask someone else for confirmation on that. Maybe that’s just a Bruce Springsteen song…
I also want to know why it’s hard to find decent fitting underwear!! What’s up with that? I do not want to wear a thong, people! My butt is the size of Nebraska (Ok, maybe it’s more like Montana, but I’m being kind to myself today. Work with me on this.) and a thong is never, ever going to be flattering. And besides, they look damned uncomfortable. And what the hell are “boy shorts”? If I was a BOY that might be fine, but I don’t want boy shorts. I want ladies underwear that is comfortable, covers my ample ass, and is also at least reasonably attractive. I mean, no one sees it but me (that’s a whole other blog we’re not getting into today), but still. Is attractive underwear too much to ask for?? I think not. I’m sorry, but I’m not going to Victoria’s Secret for it either. I’m a big girl. I was not made for the scanty panty I’m afraid. So please Victoria, share your Secret with, say, Fruit of the Loom so I can find some affordable undies in my size with a tad more material than a couple of scraps of lace and some elastic. The world would be a much better place. I assure you!
3 comments:
I have the opposite problem. I get all aggravated that some of the push-ups come in a D but they start at a B. Plus, I refuse to spend $50 on a bra for my need-a-magnifier breasts.
As for undies, I'm not picky. I get the 7 for $25 cotton ones at Victoria's Secret though I love American Eagle's aerie undies. They're made better. I like the boy shorts which are like hipsters, more coverage than briefs, but they do leave more of a pantyline. I'll wear a thong on an occasion and they can be comfortable if they fit well. Like they have to fit perfectly. If they're too big or too small, they are the most uncomfortable things ever, but so are any item of clothing.
I feel there are options at department stores, but there are never employees to help or any organization in layout which leads me to just going elsewhere.
I can see how it would be frustrating to not be able to find an A cup if that is what you were after. I just wish there was more variety in all clothing period! Everyone is NOT the same size!! Manufacturers just do not get it.
I admit, I do love me some boy shorts. They cover everything and don't leave panty lines! Oprah talked about how she likes them too one day. I have to go up a size in them usually, but they are pretty comfy.
I got fitted for a bra this past weekend. It was mortifying. But at least I know I'm wearing the right size. I hate bra shopping too!
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