I’ve said many
times recently (if only to myself) that I feel far from God. I know it’s
because I’ve pushed myself away, rather than God pulling away. God loves us and
he never leaves us, even when it seems like he has. I don’t know why bad things
happen or why they are allowed to happen and quite frankly, I long ago stopped
trying to figure that out. I simply choose to remind myself that God loves me
and I’m good enough.
Lately though, God
and I have been having some interesting chats. I mean, if you can’t talk to
him, who can you really talk to and trust? I feel that maybe slowly, surely I’m finding
my way back to a good place and better relationship with him and that makes me
very happy. I’ve found a Bible study that I enjoy and that makes me want to go
back again each week. Hopefully one day I’ll find a church that makes me feel
the same way. I love Jesus, but I don’t always like religion, but having a
faith community is something that I need and I know it.
On the drive in to
work this morning, Van Halen’s “I Can’t Stop Loving You” cycled up in iTunes and
I have to say that I nearly started crying. Which would be a great sight on
Gervais Street early in the morning – some silly crying female trying to turn
left onto Bull Street. No, I wasn’t
crying because it was Sammy and not Dave (as I tend to prefer the Hagar years
over Roth), but because that’s the song I hear when I know that God is talking
to me. When he’s reminding me that he loves me and nothing I ever do is going
to take that love away.
I told this story
years ago and there are still those that I know roll their eyes at the notion
of God speaking through a Van Halen song, but I believe that God speaks to us
in the ways that he knows we will hear him and listen. This song, however, is “our
song”. It’s the song I have with God. You can keep your “Amazing Grace” and all
that stuff because I’ve got this. Yeah, it’s not Bon Jovi, but that would be
too obvious. It's better.
The original blogpost on this (also pasted below) is worth a read to understand better where I’m coming from and how
this came about, but I felt so much love and understanding this morning that I
wanted to cry. It was nearly overwhelming…and absolutely what I need right now
in my life.
As I said back
then, “I think if you look and listen, you will find God all around you,
every day. You never know when or how or why He is going to send you a
message. You just have to be open to it.” I have a few things going on right
now that I don’t really talk about with anyone except God and it’s so good to
be reminded that he’s listening, that he loves me, and that I seem to be on the
right path. I can only wish that for us
all.
*********************
June 28, 2011
Play
It Again Sam(my Hagar)
Once upon a time I
wrote a little blog for my church group (back when I used to do a weekly email
for the group) about how I heard God talking to me through a Cher song.
And I've heard God speak to me through an episode of WKRP in
Cincinnati as
well. And I've frequently heard God speaking to me through a Van Halen
song. I searched and searched and cannot find the blog I thought I'd
written about this years ago, because some time around the Cher experience is
when I think this all came about.
Now, there are those that scoff at hearing God speak to you in any other way than through reading the Bible. Well, I disagree. I think if you look and listen, you will find God all around you, every day. You never know when or how or why He is going to send you a message. You just have to be open to it.
On this particular day I was out in my yard pruning the lantanna. Which is not my favorite thing and generally only happens in January or February once the leaves have fallen. I'm not sure exactly how my head got into this particular place, but I was talking with God and wondering how he could stand the human race most of the time. I mean, good grief! We are a messed up bunch of people that's for ding dang sure. Fortunately, God offers us grace and forgiveness and salvation. Can't get much luckier - or rather, blessed -than that.
So as I'm pruning and pondering and asking God how he can love someone like me, who is certainly undeserving, the Van Halen song "I Can't Stop Loving You" came on and I heard these words:
There's a time and place for everything, for everyone
We can push with all our might, but nothin's gonna come
Oh no, nothin's gonna change
And if I asked you not to try
Oh could you let it be
and
I can't stop lovin' you
And no matter what I say or do
You know my heart is true, oh
I can't stop loving you
I can't clearly recall, but I think I started laughing a little bit at the fact that at the very moment when I needed something like this, this song came on. And I truly believe it was God speaking to me. Reassuring me. Reminding me that no matter what I do, He can't and won't stop loving me. It was pretty cool.
So now every time that song pops up on my iPod, I stop and smile and listen, remembering that God loves me. Even though I don't deserve it. And that sometimes, if He asks me not to push and try so hard, can I just let it be. I'm grateful for God's love and His grace, especially when I have no idea what is going to happen or which way my life is headed (which is basically all the time the past few years, or so it seems). And I'm grateful that God chooses seemingly strange places and things to use to speak to me. I believe God chooses the avenue that is best for the individual and how He knows He can get through to us. And he definitely does get through to me in this song. I dunno... maybe it has something to do with Sammy's hair. :o)
Now, there are those that scoff at hearing God speak to you in any other way than through reading the Bible. Well, I disagree. I think if you look and listen, you will find God all around you, every day. You never know when or how or why He is going to send you a message. You just have to be open to it.
On this particular day I was out in my yard pruning the lantanna. Which is not my favorite thing and generally only happens in January or February once the leaves have fallen. I'm not sure exactly how my head got into this particular place, but I was talking with God and wondering how he could stand the human race most of the time. I mean, good grief! We are a messed up bunch of people that's for ding dang sure. Fortunately, God offers us grace and forgiveness and salvation. Can't get much luckier - or rather, blessed -than that.
So as I'm pruning and pondering and asking God how he can love someone like me, who is certainly undeserving, the Van Halen song "I Can't Stop Loving You" came on and I heard these words:
There's a time and place for everything, for everyone
We can push with all our might, but nothin's gonna come
Oh no, nothin's gonna change
And if I asked you not to try
Oh could you let it be
and
I can't stop lovin' you
And no matter what I say or do
You know my heart is true, oh
I can't stop loving you
I can't clearly recall, but I think I started laughing a little bit at the fact that at the very moment when I needed something like this, this song came on. And I truly believe it was God speaking to me. Reassuring me. Reminding me that no matter what I do, He can't and won't stop loving me. It was pretty cool.
So now every time that song pops up on my iPod, I stop and smile and listen, remembering that God loves me. Even though I don't deserve it. And that sometimes, if He asks me not to push and try so hard, can I just let it be. I'm grateful for God's love and His grace, especially when I have no idea what is going to happen or which way my life is headed (which is basically all the time the past few years, or so it seems). And I'm grateful that God chooses seemingly strange places and things to use to speak to me. I believe God chooses the avenue that is best for the individual and how He knows He can get through to us. And he definitely does get through to me in this song. I dunno... maybe it has something to do with Sammy's hair. :o)
No comments:
Post a Comment