Things I’ve Noticed Recently

If you dress too nicely to go to work, the women in your office will immediately decide there is a reason.  First and foremost, you must have a date or someone you are trying to impress.  It can’t just be because 1) those clothes were clean, 2) that’s your favorite shirt and 3) sometimes you like to wear the sparkly earrings.  *sigh*

On the day after you dress too nicely, if you dress more casually then obviously you really DID have a hot date the night before, hence dressing too nicely the previous day.  *double sigh*

The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away. And sometimes the Lord just looks at you and goes, “Get real!”

Not everyone appreciates the fact that sometimes when Sammy Hagar sings, I hear God sending me messages. I mean, it’s not like my fillings are picking up radio frequencies or something!  And, for the record, I do not have fillings because I do not have cavities. I am also not scared of the dentist, except the one in “Little Shop of Horrors”.

Oh man, there are so many more things I’d say in public if only it was socially acceptable.

I need to wear black pants and high heels every day for the rest of my life because apparently they make me look really freakin’ fabulous.  I’m just sayin’…

I am easily swayed when someone tells me I look really freakin’ fabulous…

I have a real problem with eating Cheez-Its and calling that “breakfast”.

Candy corn is a vegetable, right?

Big Brother is watching me and I think Big Brother might need to get a new hobby.

Also anyone lurking in my bushes in the back yard – or front, for that matter  - should get a new hobby too.

I am taking way too much time off in December to 1) have no place to actually GO and 2) it makes me want to buy gallons of paint and paint the brick in my laundry room. I’m dangerous when I have a project.

I like having a project.

I AM a project.

I am a SCIENCE project.  Gone wrong, clearly.

I could tell you the last…oh wait, I was going to make a statement and then realized it was totally false.  Reboot!

I may never get “Fergalicious”, but I am so totally “dorkalicious”. I rock that one baby!

Do people still say that things “rock”? 

I want a pet rock for Christmas. Someone hook me up!

Hey!  “Hook Me Up” is a Bon Jovi song!

I love Bon Jovi!! Did you know that?

I wonder if Bon Jovi know that I love them? Maybe I should tell them. Or is that stalking?

I feel like a total stalker on Facebook now when the little thing on the side pulls up with someone’s pictures and Facebook is basically beckoning you to check them out.  And really, how many times do I need to look at pictures of your dog or your profile pictures?  I dread to think of what pics of MINE are popping up on someone’s home page.  Makes me want to delete all my photos.