I hate trying to find titles for my blog posts. It's a pain if one doesn't readily jump to mind. I once thought of titling my blog "The Year of Living Stupidly" just because it would make me laugh. Hmmm...I might do that or change the name to something - anything! - else because I'm not fond of the name, but that's a worry for another day. And not at all what this post is supposed to be about.
Last year I declared the time between my 44th and
45th birthdays to be the “Year of Yes”. Last week I decided that
perhaps the time between 45 and 46 should be the “Year of No”, but hadn’t fully
defined that. I still haven’t, but the more I think about it, the more I think
I’m on the right track with that idea.
Reflecting back on the past year, I re-read the blog post I wrote and the last lines caught my attention: "... but hey, it's the Year of
Yes. Anything can happen, right? Maybe just about anything at all if I'm
willing to take a chance and say yes." Honestly, that really seems to sum up the last year. Anything can happen if you are willing to take a chance and say yes.
Forty-four was a lot of fun. I’ve tried to chronicle what happened –
both good and bad – so that I could feel like I had a tangible list of what I
accomplished, but I’m not sure I could remember everything even if I tried. I
know I had some fun. I know I had some UN-fun. Life isn’t perfect and neither
was my year, but it was right. It was the way it’s supposed to be. Good or bad,
right or wrong, this is how it was supposed to be.
At times I found myself straying from the idea of saying yes
to things and had to pull myself back around, but for the most part I did what
I wanted to do and I think I challenged myself at times which was great. I
needed that. Heck, I still need
that!! I’m not giving up the “Year of Yes”, even if I’m morphing it into a
little something different this time around. It’ll just be the “Life of Yes”,
which sounds like a lot more fun to me!
I’ve thought about what “no” means to me and right now, I
think having a “Year of No” will be about saying no to the things that are
hurting me. The negativity. The excesses (have I mentioned that I like cake?).
Saying no to self-doubt and self-blame. Saying no to beating myself up all the
time when things don’t immediately go the way I want them to go. Being aware of
the negative ways I treat myself or allow myself to be treated. There are
really so many things that “no” involves and they don’t have to be negative
things! Tell yourself “no” sometimes is the best, most positive thing you can
do.
So I’m off to embrace the “Year of No” and muddle along as I
figure out what that ultimately entails. I realized the other day that God is
testing my patience with several things lately and I am failing miserably. It's
time now to try to do better.
Oh, to hell with that! It’s time to DO better.
Period. Because not only do I know that I can, I want to and that matters a whole hell of a lot.
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