Sometimes life is like a John Hughes movie

I spent some time (much too little time, by the way) with some of my best friends this weekend. We go back to high school, though some of us haven’t become that close really until the past few years. Regardless, we all knew each other “when”. “When” our clothes were questionable, “when” some of our hair defied the laws of gravity, and “when” making stupid choices about which boys you dated was par for the course. Every time we are together I learn something new about who dated whom back in the day. What an incestuous little group we had! Yowza!

A few of us were able to get together to surprise my friend Renee in honor of her 40th birthday. She’s the one leading the charge into our 40s and over the next year we have to figure out how in the heck to surprise any of the rest of us. I strongly suggested finding a way to get me a personal meeting with David Bryan, which isn’t as far of a stretch as you might think since a guy from high school with whom Renee is still really good friends is in the musical Memphis on Broadway. Written, of course, by my beloved Dave. So I’ve got those 2 or 3 degrees of separation, but I’m not sure my heart could take it if I met him. I’d scream like a tweenage girl does over Justin Beiber. And that’s scary. But if that DOES happen, ladies, please remember to get it all on video because I’m sure it would be a sight to behold if I ever managed to regain my composure and stop babbling like an idiot.

Anyway, while we were all chatting in Renee’s kitchen, she was relaying to another friend of hers who had joined in the fun about what happened to me last week, when I got an apology from the boy who broke my heart back in high school. She was telling her friend that it was like something out of a movie; not something that happens in real life. And she said that she wishes SHE could get an apology from her guy who fits that description from high school.

That got me to thinking that in many ways Renee was right. It was something that you think only happens in a John Hughes 80s teen movie where the boy realizes he was a jackass and goes after the girl, if only to tell her that he’s sorry. Cue some song by OMD or Spandau Ballet, throw in Molly Ringwald and you’ve got yourself a hit!

As a John Hughes junkie, I like the thought of having my own personal JH moment. And then, I realized in an embarrassment of riches, I actually had another one of those moments because my prom date was really my Jake Ryan. My date to the junior prom was the boy that all the girls were swooning over that year. Just such a cutie patootie in addition to being smart and ridiculously nice. In fact, he still is. I’m currently awaiting the arrival of their annual family Christmas card with pictures of “Jake” and his wife and kids. It’s always too frickin’ cute and I am always happy when it arrives. (ETA: The card arrive today! Sweet!)

But yeah, “Jake” (who if you know me personally you totally know this guy’s real name, BUT DON’T USE IT FOR CRYIN’ OUT LOUD ) was my big crush back in high school so getting asked to Prom by him was quite the teenage coup. Plus, my dress was fab and we both looked great. I still have the dress, though I’m not sure what I will ever do with it. I just can’t bear to part with it.

It seems truly like an embarrassment of riches to have gotten my date with my “Jake” AND to have gotten that 23-years-overdue apology. If you follow a John Hughes train of thought, I guess the apology game from my John Bender – the rebel with bigger problems than anyone realized who most likely did drive my parents nuts in the brief time we dated, just like Bender thought he’d be great for Claire to use to make HER parents nuts.

I guess now I need to find the Keith to go with my Watts (“Some Kind of Wonderful” for those not up on the JH universe) and make him realize that he really doesn’t want Amanda Jones. That girls with the short blond hair are just way, way cooler and look great wearing his future.

My friend Andrea

I originally shared this with my church group back on February 23, 2009, but after getting news last night that the end is truly near, I wanted to post this here on my blog. I ask for prayers for Andrea and her family.

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"In the long run, we shape our lives, and we shape ourselves.. The process never ends until we die. And the choices we make are ultimately our responsibility." ~ Eleanor Roosevelt ~

My friend Andrea is going to die.

She’s been fighting breast cancer for over a year now and on Friday she got the following news from her doctor: “It's stage 4, there is no cure, only managing the disease. I have multiple extensive lesions in my liver. The liver can accommodate tumors and still function, but they ran a blood test just to make sure. As for my bones, it is in the spine, shoulders, sternum, ribs and femur.”

And so, my friend Andrea is going to die.

We’re ALL going to die one day, I know that. From the minute we are born, we are all dying. Just at different rates. If you think about death that way, it makes it a tad less scary. To me, anyway.

But still…my friend Andrea is going to die. Much too young. Much too soon.

I met her through our mutual love of romance novels (don’t judge!) when we both found our way a decade ago to an internet bulletin board dedicated to my then-favorite author Judith McNaught. Through this wonderful group of women, spread throughout the country and the world, I have made some true friends. Good women. Smart women. Doctors, lawyers, teachers, stay-at-home moms. Slightly nutty women, but then again, they are my friends, right?

I stayed in Drea’s home when I interviewed for a job at Texas A&M 7 years ago. When I lived in Dubai, we’d chat almost every day on instant messenger as I was wrapping up my day and eating dinner and she was just kick starting her day back in College Station. She’s funny and beautiful and gutsy and a fighter.

And she’s going to die.

I’ve cried A LOT the past few days. I’m crying as I type this. It’s not fair. Nothing like this is ever fair to anyone. I pray for Andrea every time I think of her, which is at least once an hour. I figure God’s going to get so sick of hearing the name Andrea that He’s going to give us the miracle we desperately need to save her life.

That’s what I pray for, but I’m also a realist. I know how bad it is. I know the statistics. I know my friend Andrea is going to die. I just don’t know when.

I tell you all that so that you’ll remember to appreciate the people in your life. So that you’ll remember to appreciate YOUR life. Love your family. Love your friends. Look for friends all over the place. It’s amazing sometimes how the people you’d never imagine being friends with can become the best friends in the entire world.

Call them. Write them. Send them a flippin’ e-mail. I don’t care what you do, but keep in touch. If they mean something to you, make sure they know it.

And lastly, take care of yourself ‘cause God don’t make no junk. I won’t tell you not to eat that piece of cake or that cheeseburger because that would be quite hypocritical of me. Andrea is a devotee of Weight Watchers and in great shape. She runs. She takes dance classes. Cancer doesn’t pick and choose us based on what we had for breakfast.

Different people come into and out of our lives at different times for different reasons. Please, please appreciate the people in your life. They will be gone all too soon.