My mid-life crisis of hapiness

Lately I've been really, really happy and quite frankly, it's messing with my head. Strange as it may sound, I'm not sure how to handle that. I would not say I'm a particularly unhappy person as a rule. Crabby, complaining, whining and snarky, sure, but unhappy? Not necessarily. Sometimes I simply want to vent and then I move on.

I don't skip down the street or whistle a happy tune - although I do jump up now and then and have a dance party in my office, especially if Tom Jones's "It's Not Unusual" comes on the radio - but I would never classify myself as unhappy. These days though, I seem to be a touch too much on the other side. Oh trust me, people have noticed (for good or bad). I think my co-workers are a little disturbed at times, but otherwise it seems to be a pleasant surprise to most everyone else.

It's fascinating to me to be happy and not be able to trace it to a particular reason. And NO, this is not about a man, as a friend queried the other day. You should never pin your happiness on a person because they will always let you down. That's what humans do and we're all human. This seems to be bubbling up from inside me for no particular reason and I think I like it all the more because of that.

I walked outside leaving work the other evening and the sky was blue, a light breeze was blowing, birds were singing and suddenly, anything else going on earlier in the day vanished and I was happy. Peaceful. Possibly even a little joyous. For whatever reason, since my birthday last October, I seem to be embracing the lighter, brighter side of life.

I guess it started with my birthday gift to myself - finally getting to see Night Ranger live. I've loved them since the 80s when I spent every afternoon in the fall of 8th grade listening to the Midnight Madness album on my brother's old stereo while  doing my homework. My hard-core love for them resurfaced about 5 years ago and when I found out they'd be playing basically in my own backyard, well, it was an easy decision. Add in Def Leppard as the headliners and Foreigner to boot and I was instantly sold. After about 4 hours of classic hits from 3 great bands, I declared it the "best birthday party EVER!" and it really was.

The following week I was chatting with a co-worker and declared that this next year of my life would be “Year of Yes”. The only “rules” are that I try to say yes more than I say no to things and try to get out of my comfort zone and let me assure you, it is working. I started keeping a journal of the things I say yes to and how that experience turns out or makes me feel. It has ranged from stepping out of my social comfort zone and going places and meeting new people to buying cute little dresses that are pretty form-fitting, which is not something I would have considered doing a year ago.

All I’ve been able to figure out is that I’m having a mid-life crisis and you know what? I say, bring it on! If this is what a mid-life crisis is, then everyone should be having one. Right now. This is the best thing that’s happened to me in quite possibly my entire life. I’ve never felt happy like this, I’ve never felt as comfortable with my body as I do now, I’ve never been more willing to step outside of myself and my comfort zone than I am these days.

So bring on more of this mid-life crisis if it brings on more happiness! Up next, I’m taking a chair dancing class with a couple of friends, one of whom said I was the last person on the planet that she would ever, EVER think would want to do something like that. I say, good for me! If I can surprise people at 44-years-old – including myself – then I’m pretty sure I can do damned near anything. And I’m certain that I’m going to try.