Does aging just hit you out of the blue? I'm not talking about looking as if you are aging. Thankfully that is usually a slow process. Which is actually kinda sneaky now that I think about it, but still much less traumatic than waking up overnight and seeing that your face has aged 10 years in 8 hours.
What I'm talking about is the reality of it - the thoughts and feelings and whatever else. Does it simply hit you out of the blue? Sneak up on you when you aren't looking? Because that's how I've been feeling lately and I'd be a much happier person if that would stop. Like...now. Pronto.
Oh, it's not that I don't realize I am getting older - my knees remind me of this daily, if nothing else does - but I'm not sure I fully grasped this situation until some time recently. Perhaps I have simply ignored the fact that I am getting older, but lately it seems to be thrown in my face with regularity. Not by anyone but myself really, but still. Ouch. Whether it is my health issues or...or....or, well, other stuff, it's there. It's out there! On no!!! Run for the hills!! It's out there!!! Except my knees can barely tolerate walking down a flight of stairs, let alone running.
Yesterday it occurred to me that my life hasn't turned out the way I had expected it to. I then thought, "Well, how did you expect it to turn out?" and I didn't have an answer. Mostly because I still think I have miles and miles of road in front of me when the reality is that if I am lucky, then I am currently middle aged. That would mean I live until my early 80s, but there's not guarantee of that.
Too many thoughts in my head about this right now. I know I'm thinking too much - I over-think pretty much everything. All. The. Time. But is it just me or does aging hit other people out of the blue? I knew I would get older one day (or be dead, so older is likely the preferable alternative if someone is in good health and able to take care of themselves), but I don't think I really believed it would happen. *sigh* The follies of youth! I guess if I am fortunately enough to only be at middle age right now, then I need to consider how I want to live the rest of the years I am granted here on Earth. I have no clue, but I suppose it's time I find out.
What I'm talking about is the reality of it - the thoughts and feelings and whatever else. Does it simply hit you out of the blue? Sneak up on you when you aren't looking? Because that's how I've been feeling lately and I'd be a much happier person if that would stop. Like...now. Pronto.
Oh, it's not that I don't realize I am getting older - my knees remind me of this daily, if nothing else does - but I'm not sure I fully grasped this situation until some time recently. Perhaps I have simply ignored the fact that I am getting older, but lately it seems to be thrown in my face with regularity. Not by anyone but myself really, but still. Ouch. Whether it is my health issues or...or....or, well, other stuff, it's there. It's out there! On no!!! Run for the hills!! It's out there!!! Except my knees can barely tolerate walking down a flight of stairs, let alone running.
Yesterday it occurred to me that my life hasn't turned out the way I had expected it to. I then thought, "Well, how did you expect it to turn out?" and I didn't have an answer. Mostly because I still think I have miles and miles of road in front of me when the reality is that if I am lucky, then I am currently middle aged. That would mean I live until my early 80s, but there's not guarantee of that.
Too many thoughts in my head about this right now. I know I'm thinking too much - I over-think pretty much everything. All. The. Time. But is it just me or does aging hit other people out of the blue? I knew I would get older one day (or be dead, so older is likely the preferable alternative if someone is in good health and able to take care of themselves), but I don't think I really believed it would happen. *sigh* The follies of youth! I guess if I am fortunately enough to only be at middle age right now, then I need to consider how I want to live the rest of the years I am granted here on Earth. I have no clue, but I suppose it's time I find out.
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